I just sat for my final paper in university, possibly the very last one of my life. It was for my Shakespeare elective. Everyone left the exam room complaining about it, because the final mini-essay question was not in the text at all, nor did he give us any clue that he’d drop such a bomb. We studied excerpts from 9 plays: The Twelfth Night, Measure for Measure, Henry IV, Richard III, Julius Caesar, Macbeth, Hamlet, The Tempest, and The Two Noble Kinsmen. But the critical exam question was on The Merchant of Venice! O, judge o you Gods, what fools he makes of us.
In spite of that, I’m very pleased. This university life is over. OVER!
Since nostalgia hasn’t kicked in, let me say all this now. I’m so glad I don’t have to sit in those toilet-stenched classrooms with creaky fold-down wooden chairs paired with completely vandalized wooden chipped off tables anymore letting voices of boredom weave in and out of my semi-wakefulness, resting on my one too many photocopied copyright breached textbooks distributed at almost no cost. I’m even more elated at the fact that I don’t have to write on A3 brown thinner-than-toilet-paper exam answer sheets while witnessing how students are referring to small pieces of paper in their pencilcases, underneath skirts, or under caps. Or more recently, students leaving the classroom for the bathroom and miraculously filling up their papers with the right answers after they return.
I wish I could say I’m also done with the administration people in my university, but alas, I still need them in order to graduate.
Peace, ho! Studies and exams, I bid thee farewell.
Welcome to China. Since we cannot sh**t everyone who speaks of Ti*et or the Ti*n*nm*n m*ss*cr*, we have taken the liberty to clean the Internet for you! Proudly known as the Great Firewall of China, net nannies in China have helped BLOCKED sites that may contain misinformation. In the past few years, we have banned, and sometimes gave intermittent access, to blogspot.com, wordpress.com, livejournal.com, multiply.com, squarespace.com, and many other blogging platforms. From March 2009, YouTube has joined that list. Just this afternoon, Twitter has been added to the strength of the Great Firewall. We hope you are pleased to find the Internet in China to be free from, well, popular English community sites, which we believe are dangerous and inaccurate message spreaders.
Afterall, what proves innocence better than the silencing of voices?
BEIJING (Reuters) - Access to the popular social networking service Twitter and email service Hotmail was blocked across mainland China late on Tuesday afternoon, two days before the twentieth anniversary of a bloody crackdown on Tiananmen Square.
Indignant users filled chatrooms with protest, after access to Twitter was denied shortly after 5:00 pm (0900 GMT) on Tuesday.
“The whole Twitter community in China has been exploding with it,” said Beijing-based technology commentator Kaiser Kuo.
“It’s just part of life here. If anything surprises me, it’s that it took them so long.”
Thursday is the twentieth anniversary of June 4, 1989, when tanks rolled into Tiananmen Square before dawn to quell weeks of protest by students and workers. China has never released a death toll from the crackdown on what it classes as a “counter-revolutionary” conspiracy.
Other Internet users reported not being able to access Windows Live, a service offered by Microsoft Corp. which also owns Hotmail, and also Flickr, an online photo sharing service owned by Yahoo.
“This is so frustrating. Now I feel China is exactly the same as Iran,” said a financial professional and avid Twitter user in Shanghai, referring to Iran’s May ban of popular social networking site Facebook.
Twitter is an Internet-based text message service that allows users to post updates — called “tweets” — of no more than 140 characters.
Users in Beijing reported accessing the service without difficulty earlier on Tuesday, and even successfully searching potentially sensitive words such as “Tiananmen.”
While professional and urban Chinese often use foreign Internet tools, including Twitter, Hotmail and Facebook, the vast majority of Chinese use similar domestic services that are carefully monitored for any sign of content deemed subversive.
Access to video-sharing site YouTube, owned by Google was blocked in China in March, after overseas Tibetan groups posted graphic footage of China’s crackdown on protests by Tibetans in 2008.
(Additional reporting by George Chen in Hong Kong; Editing by David Fox)
Something happened about a month back between myself and a close friend, at a certain cafe in Shanghai at about midnight, which left me in complete ire. Instead of talking about it that very night and allowing the wound to fester thereafter, I’ve taken the liberty to let the anger wane with time, and place what happened that night in a different perspective.
With this overdue post, many irate thoughts have since dissipated. Which I hope allows my position to be one of objectivity.
As some of you know, my relationship with MissY has a definite expiration date. What was supposed to be this July upon graduation has since been shifted to an unknown date sometime next year. The end is inevitable and we knew it from the beginning, but here we are, happily together. Many cannot understand why we even fought hard for this, given a self-destructive ex on one side and a suicidal depressed “roommate” on the other. But we have emerged from some ugly past determined to be happy while we can, together preferably. Yes I’m digressing but essentially, what I’m trying to say is that nobody can be certain how long you and your partner can stay together, but you can be sure you want to stick it out with someone who makes you happy, so why not allow that happiness to stay in your life for as long as possible? In fact, the knowledge of an impending deadline has made us all the more glad we have the now. Would you have chosen to not have begun at all, and never get a taste of this bliss?
So anyway, this close friend of ours, being very concerned for my well-being, said to me one month ago: “Why don’t you go back to being normal? …live life like a common person…It is the proven right way…it is human’s duty to pass on generations…think about how you will hurt your parents’ feelings…you will feel more secure in the common path…”
If any of my friends reading this agree with her, please don’t ever, EVER, say such things to me. I withheld expletives and possibly a mental breakdown then, but I’m not sure if I can bear another stab like that. She cut me deep.
I argued with her point by point, and I believe my English that night was one of my most fluent occasions. I don’t think I need to repeat that conversation with her here, but I know our friendship, if it can still exist, will never be the same again.
I was appalled. I thought that after 3 years of solid friendship and all the things I told her in confidence meant she understood perfectly well. Obviously from what she said she hadn’t, and may never will, though I hope to change that. I could have heard those words from some acquaintance, someone I don’t care so much about, and I wouldn’t flinch an inch; but to hear it all spilling out from her mouth? I really thought she knew better than to spout such homophobic and bigoted critique.
There is simply no “proven right way” of living, loving, or anything. There probably isn’t a “right thing to do” either. We are all captives of what we have created with our own minds and misconstrued judgements, and if you do use your brain you would know better than to trust them. Sometimes categories/classifications that carry negative connotations make us prone to shunning it, not wanting to be associated with it in any way whatsoever for fear of the social eyes staring at you, pointing fingers and whispering. But if you would stand back and take a look, categories/classifications only serve to exclude, divide and subjugate. They are but human creations. Which means they are (extremely) fallible. So why do you want to let them rule your life?
I received the following text message from my class representative:
“通知：周四没来拍照的同学请发一张个人生活照到＊＊＊＊＊，最好是风景照，照相馆的人会负责PS上去”
(Notice: Those who didn’t join us for photo-taking on Thursday, please send a casual photo of yourself to *****. An ideal picture would be one with scenery as background, as the photography studio staff will be responsible for using photoshop to place you in the faculty group shot.)
The powers of photoshop.
Or the Chinese power of enforcing everyone’s “presence” in an important group photo?
Will most probably start full-time employment in July.
So I’m now a junior editor at an internet firm. My first job sounds great!
I do wonder if I took it on too early though. Hovering on the line between school and work hasn’t been all nerve-calming. The worst sacrifice has been my freedom to travel, taken away from me, through my own accord of chaining myself to employment. I haven’t stepped out of Shanghai since I came back for this semester in February. Boo.
To be politically correct, I look forward to an exciting and fulfilling time at the workplace!
To be honest, my advice to myself is quit thinking about the money and focus on the skills you’ll acquire, experience and exposure you’ll gain, and everything else money can never provide! Bah.
I believe content in this blog has been dwindling. That’s another trade off.
Starting to miss home actually. I would have demanded friends to give me first job gifts like wrist rests, a usb keyboard cleaner, and any miscellaneous desk and computer related gadgets.Or throw a celebratory party. Maybe receive red packets from parents. Ah well. My parents aren’t coming for my graduation, by the way. So there’s no red packet to receive, but plenty of my money to be taken away. There’s chinese taxes, rent, utility bills, grocery bills, parents’ allowance. MissY and I have started looking around for suitable apartments to live in come July, but they have either been too expensive, or just too…sad to live in.
Suddenly I feel the weight of what everyone terms as adulthood. Very bitter taste indeed.
Disclosed things I wasn’t supposed to, which put the boss in an awkward position, which of course didn’t forbade well for my prepared negotiation speech.
Oh well. Will sleep over it.
Just wanted to share how MissY cooled us down from a stressful day at work with her sliced cucumbers. Probably not an uncommon method but I’d like to think of it as her knack for exhibiting her Koreanness at the right time.
I’ve been offered a full-time position with the company I’ve been working for in the past 2 months. It’s been on my mind the entire weekend, including my sleeping hours.
Spent 2 hours on the phone on a long distance call with my mom, who went on in circles about my work, the salary, house rental, negotiation, and so on (with my dad in the background adding his 2 cents worth too). I asked her for advice on whether I should negotiate my salary, and she went on and on about money and the sums for rental, food, and other necessities. It’s no surprise where I got my calculative genes from.
I think she was pleased that I asked her for advice on this, as we haven’t moved our conversation beyond how cold or hot it is in Shanghai, and what food I ate for lunch/dinner (depending on the time of the day she called). Despite my obliging tone, I’m glad I spoke to her (and dad) about this whole issue, as they never fail to force harsh reality down my throat and bring me down from my complacence and arrogance. My brother, too, in a separate conversation, has surprisingly brought my attention to the importance of work ethics and good manners.
I’ll be negotiating my remuneration package, despite the number of naysayers, because I know I will never let up if I don’t try now. I’m confident of what I can offer to the company, and I’ve prepared a mini speech for a talk with the boss tomorrow, so just hope for the best. I’ll consider again if he doesn’t change his offer.
I’m looking forward to being a half-pat in Shanghai! A half-pat is a locally-hired foreigner, kinda like in between a local and an expat. You know, I’m usually a misfit in categories but this may be one where I fit perfectly!
This site had a sudden influx of more than 1,000 visitors a day thanks to someone’s link to my blog on a forum. I’ve been taking privacy issues for granted, and have since made some adjustments to certain posts to protect a certain someone.
As a result, I closed this site for almost a week as I had no time to work on it while rushing a thesis final draft deadline and design layout deadlines at the workplace.
Realized this May 1st holiday was the first time I spent it in Shanghai. Made it a point to go out to look-see, and told myself, never again. Though I probably still will come next national holiday.
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