I know, I know, it’s already almost mid-January and here I am still talking about 2011. Late I am, but still. Here goes:

1. Niagara Falls

Ah, the majesty.

I took on some hand-carry courier assignments from March/April – June this year for free travel and as a means to earn my living. For one assignment, I was sent on a memorable trip to Buffalo to deliver thermistors. I took a good walk around the falls from Buffalo to Toronto, crossing the international border with ease and a skip in my step (I felt absolutely blessed to possess the Singapore red passport during those months).

My journey to the Niagara Falls was made extra special after meeting two other travelers who were in Buffalo with equally interesting circumstances. Myself, a Singaporean, but living and working in Shanghai, and was exploring Buffalo after completing my hand-carry courier assignment. Another girl, a fresh graduate from Taiwan, but embarking on a work-and-travel program with McDonalds in Albany, New York, and exploring Buffalo before meeting her host the next day. A young guy (you can tell by now that I’m not good with names), a fresh graduate from Germany, but had been working in Boston on a research program, and exploring Buffalo before meeting his friends the next day in Detroit for a road trip. I met the girl at the one and only hostel in Buffalo. We hit it off immediately, the way ethnically similar people sometimes seek consolation from each other in the crowd of ethnically dissimilar locals. We met the guy on the bus towards Niagara Falls. Three of us with so different backgrounds and circumstances but with one common goal — visit the majestic Niagara Falls.

Crossing the border and checking out the Falls from Canada wasn’t on our agenda at all, until we pretty much got bored with the view from the US side. Three of us are from visa-waiver countries for entry to Canada, but my companions weren’t sure they could get back to US side after going across, as both were holding different types of US visas/forms and didn’t want to risk their onward journey in the US. So before entering Canada, we double checked with the US immigration officers who were more than amused how and why the three of us were traveling together, coming from vastly different backgrounds.

I spent the next day on my own, wandering around downtown Buffalo, buying bagfuls of American groceries and also spent a bomb in a pet shop.

But this post isn’t just about this trip and it’s getting a little long so I’m moving on.

2. My parents’ 30th wedding anniversary

I went home for about 20 days in March to celebrate my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary, my mother’s birthday, as well as to attend a friend’s wedding.

About 5 tables of relatives and my family gathered on a Saturday evening to commemorate my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary at Tung Lok restaurant in East Coast Park. It was a surprisingly good affair, and my mother’s idea of getting my brother and I to host a small series of games proved to be popular with both the kids and adults alike. My brother and I stood in front of the 5 tables and he made a mini speech thanking our parents for bringing us up (made my mother smile real wide I think). The first few prizes were handed out to those who had a red packet stuck below the seat of their chairs (we planted them before everyone arrived). Then we had a song game where they had to name 3 songs I pre-selected on my iPhone (“Baby” by Justin Bieber; “Ai pia jia eh yia” so that the old aunties would have a chance at winning, but the winner gave the prize to her grandchildren anyway; and “Nobody” by Wonder Girls.) The last game was a trivia question — what is the total number you get when you add up my family members’ ages?

It was strange that my family of all families actually set the bar for a wedding anniversary celebration, since we’ve always been pretty estranged. I felt both attached and detached from the entire experience, feeling how my absence from family events does set me apart.

3. I resigned from my job

1) Without looking for a new opportunity first. 2) Just one month short of receiving my annual bonus. 3) One of the best things I’ve ever done for myself!

The next time a verbally abusive boss comes my way I will not “give it 6 months”. If there’s anything I regret in 2011, it’s having not stood up for myself and given that big man a piece of my mind. There were too many occasions where I chose the “safer” path of laughing along with him and his lackey laughing at me and treating me like a second class teammate (getting them coffee, heating up boss’ coffee). Big men and their pompous asses. Urrgh. I did such a disservice to myself during those horrid 6 months, thinking to myself “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”, when in reality the insults were getting to my self-esteem and the amount of self-doubt I put myself and The Bitch through…

Never again.

I did want to bum around for a bit, but bills had to be paid. So I…

4. Worked as a hand-carry courier

Thanks to my Singapore passport, international travel is almost seamless. Working as an international hand-carry courier allowed me to take mini-breaks away from Shanghai/China, and enjoy these short stints overseas, albeit sometimes just in airports. I could wander in the foreign streets of Chiang Mai one day, Detroit in another, indulge in street food in Taipei the next. And of course, visit the Niagara Falls (see no. 1).

Not all is fun and glorious though. I’ve slept in airports with only a towel to protect myself from the cold temperatures at the airport; I’ve showered in a handicapped bathroom (I thought it was a good recommendation I read on SleepinginAirports); I’ve had to bother airline crew to check below the plane for my boxes; run through several terminals in Chicago O’Hare Airport in five minutes to catch my connecting flight after alighting from a delayed flight.

I loved leaving at a moment’s notice, but didn’t like catching those early morning flights. Overall, I would so take this on again given the opportunity, but this time I hope I can attain the goal I had set for myself in the first place — collect enough mileage on Star Alliance to get a Gold card (free access to the lounge anywhere in the world), and redeem return tickets to Singapore for both me and The Bitch.

5. Freelanced as Content Editor for a large language learning school

The perfect complementary job to being sent to remote places — a job that allowed me to work from anywhere in the world! I curated articles, quizzes and blogs for a language learning school’s website for English learners.

Doing this freelance work while waiting for flights instilled a desire for me to make a living nomadic-like. You know the image of someone chilling under a nice straw pavilion by the beach in Thailand, laptop in front, drink with the little cocktail umbrella on the side? Yeah I had that image a lot during this period of time, and can’t wait for my dream of working location-independently to come true.

6. Became a Website Manager at a Start-up

I feel happy where I am in terms of my work life now (I’m not for “careers”), and doing the best I can to make this dream of a website become reality. I relish in having ownership to this entire project, and as the website takes shape, so does my heightening sense of accomplishment. Our ideas and mockups are becoming an actual money-making business soon.

Life in a start-up is ever-changing, full of challenges and filled with uncertainty. Moreover, I can’t imagine going back to the life of having to clock in and out of work (with my work card or fingerprint), with strict working hours and annual leave.

A big part of what I love about where I work now is that I can waltz in at 10.30am, leave at 6pm, 5pm, 4pm, or don’t even have to go to the office if my boss isn’t around. We don’t keep track of when I take days off, as long as the work gets done and I deliver what I’m supposed to, it’s all good.

7. Moved house with The Bitch and The Boys

Although we only moved 2 floors down, I’m a happy camper because this was a combined decision made by The Bitch and I. We viewed houses together, had our discussions (disagreements), and finally placed our money on this apartment together.

It was a very tiring move because both of us have lived in Shanghai for more than 5 years and boy do things accumulate. But it feels great!

8. Rented cars for summer weekends in Shanghai

This year has seen us renting cars pretty often in the weekends during summer months, partly because we enjoy driving and have been wanting to step up to the challenge of driving in Shanghai since we converted our driving licenses; and partly because car rental prices are slashed during summer!

We’ve driven to our friend’s wedding in a village in Suqian; a getaway to Sun Island; a day trip to Chong Ming Island; shopping at Shanghai Outlets in Qingpu; ferrying my mom and aunt around Shanghai; and just driving in Shanghai for fun and practice.

9. Sun Island Getaway

The Bitch and I couldn’t really get away from Shanghai during the period of time when we celebrated our 2nd year anniversary and her birthday. I rented a car and drove us to Sun Island, a very decent holiday resort (managed by Singaporeans) with nice big villas (puts our Singapore chalets to shame, really), a golf course, small water park, indoor hot spring, horse riding, etc.

We had a nice relaxed time with some fresh air and plenty of greenery that weekend, rode on horses, played some golf, soaked in the pool, and basically just enjoyed each other’s company — something we miss out on when work gets busy in Shanghai.

10. Xiaolongbao eating competition with friends

It started from a crazy idea I spouted one random day over one of our email threads, and it really happened, thanks to a Shanghainese friend who clearly demonstrated initiative.

In pairs, 6 teams ate 20 xiaolongbaos each in the shortest time possible. It took us a long time to get over the feeling of disgust and actually start to enjoy eating xiaolongbao again. This competition turned out to be a great bonding activity for us as a group!

11. Spontaneous trip to Hanoi

Other than going to outskirts of Shanghai like Sun Island, Chong Ming Island, and driving 5 over hours out of Shanghai to Suqian for a friend’s wedding in a village, The Bitch and I hadn’t had a real holiday in 2011. Until we bought last minute tickets to Hanoi, that is.

We literally bought our tickets one night for travel the next afternoon. That feeling was awesome. I guess I’d missed that feeling of leaving at a moment’s notice and derived a certain high from it.

I found Hanoi to be unpleasant, dirty and too busy with motorbikes. Food seemed extra tasty when sitting by the roadside on extremely short stools, but my butt started aching halfway through every meal. Our cruise on Halong Bay made up for the not-so-nice Hanoi though. I’m usually not someone to win the lottery or prizes at lucky draws, but somehow we were lucky enough to get a free upgrade from our Oceanview room to the HONEYMOON SUITE. WOW. That was the best part of the trip, in my opinion. We got a nice big bed with rose petals strewn nicely on it, a big window with a continuous view of the rocks of Halong Bay, a bathtub also with a great view of Halong Bay, and the best part — our own balcony with deck chairs. The two honeymoon suites are located at the front of the cruise junk, so you can imagine what a splendid view you get when chilling at the balcony. We enjoyed our bottle of Muscato (that we cleverly bought in Hanoi and smuggled onto the cruise) in our balcony that night, chatting and trying to spot shooting stars (too cloudy to see stars actually).

View of Halong Bay from the bathtub

——————–

2012

I’m determined to make 2012 a pretty crazy year to be filled with plenty of travels, fun, and loves.

There’s the excuse of someone turning the big 4 to celebrate year-round, as well as the Mayan prophecy to push us to do as many crazy things as we can while we still exist!

We spent some time last night watching YouTube videos of Ellen DeGeneres and her wife, Portia. We caught Portia’s interview on The Ellen Show about her book, Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain; oohed and ahhed throughout their wedding video; and took in, albeit vicariously, their romantic getaway at Bora Bora. Still feeling all warm and fuzzy from experiencing how great they are together despite the age difference (*ahem*), I had this conversation with The Bitch this morning:

Me: So between Ellen and Portia, who would you go for?

The Bitch: (Without a moment’s hesitation!) You. *looks at me with a smile and that gaze*

[Cue: awwwwwwwww] *blush* Yeah yeah I know she deviated from the question and her answer is so cheesy but still.

Must be one of those days. Was I wearing red underwear? Nope. Did Pepper chew one of my things and The Bitch was trying to make up for it? Nope. Check iPeriod app on the iPhone — is she in her happy period (5th – 13th day of cycle)? Check.

People around me have been commenting on my size of late. It does work as a disturbing wake up call when people around me become my talking mirror, when I’ve been continuously deluded by my bathroom one with its slimming effect — I can only see myself from the chest and upwards, at an arm’s length due to the sink and vanity top.

It’s when a friend says to me, “Hey, your face is really big now”, that makes me stare a bit longer at reflective surfaces when I’m out now, and has forced me to look myself in a handheld mirror to see how much of the A5 mirror I can fill (probably all of it now). Or when a friend subtly asks, “Er… do you wanna go jogging with me tomorrow?”,  that compels me to (have the thought to) move my body out of the couch and work desk to start utilizing the gym card I applied for some time ago. Or basically engage in some form of cardiovascular activity and lose some weight. I know how stressed I’ll be when I visit Singapore next month with a body that can’t hide its monstrousness under these layers of winter clothing anymore.

Because if those aren’t strong enough warnings, this is. My boss and I were discussing the copy on our About page of the website we’re working on. When I wrote “burgeoning Chinese market”, he went “burger-what”? Being from Israel, English is his second language so certain words don’t work for him. “Shall I just say ‘rapidly expanding’ instead? That’s basically what ‘burgeoning’ means”, I said. His reply, epic enough to make me create this blog post in the first place, went like this: “Just say ‘rapidly growing Chinese market’. YOU are burgeoning.”

This conversation happened on the way home, with us huddled under a single small umbrella in the drizzles, one of those nights when the temperatures start to dip in Shanghai.

The Bitch and I have recently found a new love together — Baguette with Fish Roe (ming tai zi), offered at a Japanese owned French bakery at Metro City, 2 blocks away from our apartment. We buy a loaf or two to indulge in pretty often these days. Today was one of those days we decided to eat out at Metro City for dinner, so we bought two loaves of Baguette with Fish Roe for supper later. It was freshly toasted just for us!

On the way home:

Me: The bread very nice hor. Just toasted somemore. Super shiok.

The Bitch: Yeah loh. Freshly toasted does taste different. But the guy didn’t put as much roe as before leh.

Me: (Touching the bag from the bakery) Haiyah, cold already.

The Bitch: (Holding the umbrella and wincing from the rain) Yeah we should hug tighter since it’s much colder today. Later must on electric blanket before we go to bed too.

Me: I meant the bread….cold already not so nice to eat….

Thanks LinkedIn, I know I’m quite the misfit.

Me: Been here for so many years and I haven’t checked out the annual auto show in Shanghai. Let’s go this year leh.

The Bitch: Don’t want la later I keep drooling.

Me: Yeah a lot of hot girls there hor.

The Bitch: I meant the cars. I love cars.

Me: So we should go! You go see cars I go see hot girls next to the cars.

The Bitch: But only I can touch (the cars), you cannot (touch the girls).

Me: …..

I stopped playing Tiny Zoo. Just lost interest somewhat.

The Bitch has found another game to keep her entertained while we wait for our meals at restaurants, after she finishes her meal, and before bed.

Picture this. We go to a nice restaurant near The Bund for dinner. I wanted to celebrate — I got a pay raise. We look at the menu, we order. Then she picks up her iPhone and occupies herself — collecting cash from animals in Tiny Zoo; serving dishes and making new ones in Tiny Chef; and most recently, throwing out a fishing line and reeling in big fishes — while I sip on a glass of warm water, looking around in the restaurant at other patrons looking like they’re having a good time with their dinner companions. A couple of them look back at me with a faint smile of acknowledgment, and I think to myself: do they think of me as a lousy dinner companion to warrant such behavior from my own dinner companion? I take another sip from my glass, and dig in my little dinner bag for my own iPhone. I check emails, fiddle around a little bit in the iPhone menu at nothing in particular, while watching her give her iPhone all the attention it seems to need from her. I look out the window of the restaurant at people walking by and people across that street. “Hey, do you think that’s a gentleman’s club?” “Hmm? Yeah probably.” Well, a lame question deserves a lame answer I guess.

On a separate occasion, we enter a a nice wine shop with nice sofa seats. We select a 2006 Casa de la Ermita to enjoy. After we take our first sips, the iPhone is lifted from her side of the table and it’s the same story.

The iPhone has helped us be savvy, and connected. But sometimes, I’d really like iPhone-free time with her.

The Bitch and her iPhone

Read how my (semi- angry) affair with Tiny Zoo started in Part 1.

The Bitch sent me an invitation to download Tiny Zoo so that she could get 10 Tiny Zoo bucks. Being the kind and helpful girlfriend that I am, I downloaded the game, wrote her name as the recruiter, so we both received 10 Tiny Zoo bucks. Ka-ching!

Now what should I do with these bucks? I started playing Tiny Zoo myself, it being the October Golden Week National Day holidays in China anyway.

There are so many cute animals to buy for my zoo. With papa bear and mama bear, I can breed 2 baby bears! When the whole family is complete, the animals animate when I touch them! And I can cross-breed Black Bears with African Elephants to get Woolly Mammoths! Misleading for the kids, but interesting way to create hybrid animals in Tiny Zoo. We can also create “Collections” of animals to unlock new animals as well as exclusive awards such as Tiny Zoo bucks and XP (experience) points. For example, the “Furry Friends” collection includes Bears, Chimps, Camels and Lions. Once I have complete families for these “Furry Friends”, I will be rewarded with 1 buck, 4016 XP and unlock a new animal!

Other than animals, I’ve also set up shops and decorations for my Tiny Zoo. It’s too soon to say whether my interest in this game will wane after the holidays, but I’ve already reached Level 17 in just 4 days!

But it’s a no-brainer fluffy game you say? Quite the contrary. Different animals provide you with different values. For instance, the Snow Leopard collects 1.5K coins and 300 xp every 5 hours and costs 9 bucks. The American Bison collects 5K coins and 400 xp every 20h and costs 4,999 coins. Which would you rather buy? Shops work pretty much the same way too. With the limited space in your zoo and if you’re on the quest to expand as quickly as you can, building a strategy is needed to get maximum returns from the animals and shops you purchase. It is a business simulation game afterall, with the Zoo being your business.

The Bitch chose to make her zoo as lucrative as possible, and has blocked out Zoo visitors (tiny people who come and look at your animals but contribute nothing) and made use of every acre of zoo land space to be money-making, be it shops or animals. I, on the other hand, feel happy when there are tiny people visiting my Zoo although they are absolutely useless to my business. I’ve built them gravel pathways to be able to view every animal and visit shops like Panda Gift Shop, Monkey Shop, and eat ice-cream at the Ice Cream Parlor.  Once I expand the zoo, I’ll build a children’s play area and make my Tiny Zoo look fun and more like a Zoo!

After all, I’m already too late to join in the “global” race like how The Bitch is (in the Top 5. GLOBALLY.).

The Bitch I knew (before her iPhone came into the picture) was always approachable and pretty cool. Then her sister got her an iPhone and she started playing those Tiny games.

It started with Tiny Chef. I used to play this game myself and I can understand how it can disrupt your life. I cooked so many dishes in the game, opened 4 restaurants, hired n number of waiting staff, and allowed myself to keep this virtual restaurant business at the back of my mind in my daily life. It fit into my routine pretty well. Just woke up? Check on the Fish & Chips I set last night that needed 8 hours to cook. Serve it, and set the steak to cook for the next 8 hours I’ll be away at work. Or a 4 hours dish like Carne Asada Tostada so that I can serve and cook during lunchtime. Back from work? Time to cook all those 1 hour dishes like Edamame or Mozzarella Sticks. Then I’ll whack those 6-12 hour dishes before bedtime like Cheese Ravioli and Pot Roast. Things I’ve never heard or eaten before in real life.  I played Tiny Chef for about a month or two before other games, or well, life (and work) took over.

The moment The Bitch got her hands on her iPhone 4, she downloaded Tiny Chef and made it her goal to overtake me. Well, overtake me she did, and then went on build her own “Tiny empire” with another game called Tiny Zoo. Both games are by the game company TinyCo and they’ve successfully gotten The Bitch hooked on their simulation games. She enjoys building more and more restaurants by cooking more and more dishes; and with Tiny Zoo she gets to keep animals (her Achilles’ Heel)! It’s in her current daily routine to check on her Tiny Chef and Tiny Zoo before bed, the moment she wakes up, and several times throughout the day. There’s always something for her to do on these games — collect cash, build something, move something, visit other gamers’ restaurants or zoo to tip them (and collect experience points).

Her progress (or her positive addiction) has reached to a point where she can use it to get me off her back. Last night, we were both in bed preparing to sleep, she was fiddling with her iPhone as usual, collecting cash on her Tiny Zoo. I was itching for some pillow talk but as I was edging closer to her and began talking, she said “Shhhhh. I’m going to break through to level 41. Do you know what that means? Globally?” My girlfriend is in the top 5 players in Tiny Zoo! WOW. And so I’ve learnt to accept being 2nd place, really. But of course I do secretly hope her interest in these games will fizzle out someday soon. And the day may be near!

Recently, an update was made to Tiny Zoo and it wiped out The Bitch’s inventory by mistake. “They’re so lousy with their customer service. I’ve been complaining to them about their bugs and fixes but they haven’t replied. If they screw up again I’m so giving up this game.” TinyCo, please hear my prayers.

It has been quite a challenge for me to be someone who doesn’t even look at dogs nor touch them, to someone who embraces living and sleeping with dogs (on the other side of the bed).

But there are still times when I cannot let sleeping dogs lie. Excuse the double entendre.

A few hours before I retired to bed last night, I went to the bedroom and found Bailey lying on my side of the bed, beneath the quilt, with his a**hole on my pillow. Now, this is a big no-no that he committed and he grumbled when I chased him down and hit him. The Bitch was amused that he would guard her side of the bed and sleep on my side to “lay his stink” on it. He was clearly protecting his owner and making enemies with the Other. Agreed course of action with The Bitch was that she must be the one to discipline him the next time he does it.

Fast forward to just as I was about to lay in bed next to The Bitch to sleep, I found Bailey once again in the position he had acquired earlier. I commanded him to get down from the bed, to which he grumbled and moved towards The Bitch, planting himself between her and my space. I took my pillow and tried to shoo him off, and knocked down my full cup of water in the process. This finally woke the snoring Bitch up and she gently asked Bailey to get down to his bed and pillow on the floor next to her.

After wiping up the spilt frustration on the floor, I went to Bailey’s bed and told him to get out of the room. I wanted to enforce that sleeping on my side of the bed is strictly forbidden and doing so will result in punishment. The Bitch, however, told me that such a command will antagonize him. When I said “get out” and pointed towards the door, Bailey started scratching the side of the bed and tried to climb to The Bitch, his owner with arms for armor. I reached out in attempt to grab him but he snapped and threatened to bite me. See, you antagonized him.

Well, now you’ve antagonized me. I took my mobile and cup back to my room and spent the night there instead. Like it isn’t enough having to deal with all the fur on my clothes; being woken up by the scratching on the floor in the morning; the barks throughout the day whenever someone is near the door or just in our floor landing; the endless growling and barking when ahyi is here, having to sit on a sofa that has dark patches and stink from Bailey’s saliva from his self-fellatio indulgence; accidentally eating fur in my sleep because they’re all over on the bed; sleeping with blankets that smell of The Boys; greeted by the house smelling like a dog house when I come home everyday — and now that darn dog can “lay his stink” on my side of the bed and I have to eff off.

Enough for now. I need to be in the only dog-free zone in the house for a while.