Of hate. Of wrong messages. Of what should be changed.

“…there are entire groups of people who face discrimination every single day and we’re a long way from treating each other equally. All of it is unacceptable. All of it. But I would like you to start paying attention to how often being gay is a punchline of a monologue, or how often gay jokes are in a movie, and that kind of message, laughing at someone ‘coz they’re gay, is just the beginning. It starts from laughing at someone, then it’s verbal abuse, then it’s physical abuse, and then it’s this kid Brandon killing a kid like Larry.” — Ellen DeGeneres

祝大家新年快乐，心想事成，

在新的一年里，吉祥如意，生活美满幸福！(Credit: CG for editing)

I hope I can inch closer to a life that is 美满幸福. Meaning less 躲躲藏藏 would be good.

So. Resolution for mouse year: (to parents:) drop larger hints, talk about Sam more, leave books lying around, tell less lies.

Haha no resolution for school. Continue skipping classes that are useless, continue sleeping if I feel like it, continue avoiding people who get on my nerves. I must remember that the squirrels were really adorable in UBC, and just be glad of that memory (I think no one will understand this attempt at a joke except CG).

Okay okay, eat less too. I don’t want the day to come when I can only wear PJs. That last sentence came up thanks to Connie’s comment when she saw me in my penguin PJs and said “How come only fat people look good in PJs?” BITCH.

Yes, I’m way behind in getting my hands on this since the book was launched in August 2006, and I only bought and read it today.

It’s a very easy read, very colloquial, which makes its form very apt for the content, for the stories [sort of like True Singapore Gay (coming out) Stories] are very very real.

It’s not pro-gay, but pro-acceptance — of who you are and who the people around you are. The stories also demonstrate how allowing others the chance to accept you as you are may prove to be the best thing you can ever do to make your life fulfilled, instead of building the mountain of lies like the one I’ve been piling up on these years to protect the truth about Sam and I from my parents and the extended family.

“…in ten years time, I’ll be 38 years old, not young anymore. And [my father]‘d be 68, well into his twilight years. If by then, he can’t acknowledge me and my other half, if we can’t all be happy together, then that’s just sad.”

I don’t know if it’s the easy way out for me to shrug it off and postpone telling my parents until after graduation, because I can jolly well postpone it to after I find financial stability, after I find a place of my own, after this or after that — will it really make a difference to their ability to come to terms with it?

I don’t want them to leave this world without my being honest with them.

So now, I can either leave the book on the living room table to speak volumes on its own, or stash it in some corner of my cupboard hoping they won’t (or will?) pry when I’m not around.

by signing an open letter to the prime minister. (no revelation of your NRIC is required)

The Prime Minister
Mr. Lee Hsien Loong
Prime Minister’s Office
Orchard Road
Istana
Singapore 238823

Dear Prime Minister,

As a citizen of Singapore, I write to appeal to your sense of fairness and equality, to take the lead to move Parliament and your party on issues related to s377A, Penal Code. I strongly believe that it should be repealed, not just for the benefit of the gay community, but also for the good of all Singaporeans. I also firmly believe that the time to repeal s377A, Penal Code is now, not later.

The reasons why this repeal is so important are manifold.

1. Singapore’s Founding Principles.
2. Constitutional and Legal Rights.
3. International Social Mores and Trends.
4. Domestic Social Mores and Trends.
5. Damage to the Gay Community.
6. Pragmatism, Leadership and the Future.
1. Singapore’s Founding Principles

Singapore was founded on the basis of justice and equality. This is reflected in our pledge. From the start, Singapore as a nation has staunchly upheld multiculturalism, with diverse groups living together in harmony by respecting each other’s differences. This has been the cornerstone of our country’s success. Since then, these principles have been further strengthened. For example:- In 1966, a Constitutional Commission was formed to study how the rights of minorities can be safeguarded.
- The implementation of the GRC in our electoral system ensures that racial minorities are adequately represented.
- The Women’s Charter was amended to safeguard women’s rights.Legislating that certain sexual acts are legal for heterosexuals but illegal for gay men is tantamount to our country taking an active step (for the first time) to discriminate against a minority group. That goes against everything we, as Singaporeans, have been taught to believe in and hold dear.

2. Constitutional and Legal Rights

Section 377A contravenes Singapore’s Constitution which grants equal rights to treatment and protection for everyone. This law is unequivocally discriminatory. We believe a gay man should have exactly the same rights as a straight man or woman.We understand that there are elements of our society that do not see being gay in a positive light. They are entitled to their opinion. But their opinion should not infringe upon the rights of this – or any – group of Singaporeans. This holds true even if those who disapprove of gay people outnumber those who support them. In fact, it is the responsibility of any democratically elected government to protect minorities from the “tyranny of the majority”.Section 377A violates an individuals’s right to privacy. Especially since what we are talking about is a choice between consenting adults and hurts no one.

Furthermore, the government’s self-avowed compromise of having s377A on the books but not enforcing it will bring Singapore’s justice system into disrepute. The Council of the Law Society states in its report to the Ministry Of Home Affairs dated March 30, 2007, that the law as it stands “cannot be justified”. The Council goes further to argue that the proper function of criminal law “is to protect others from harm by punishing harmful conduct. Private consensual homosexual conduct between adults does not cause harm recognisable by the criminal law. Thus, regardless of one’s personal view of the morality or otherwise of such conduct, it should not be made a criminal offence”.

Singapore has always taken pride in being a country where the rule of law is transparent, fair and clear cut. This reputation has served us well and contributed in no small way to our country’s success and should not be eroded by this aberration.

3. International Trends

The courts of many major countries have held the equivalent of s377A to be discriminatory, an invasion of privacy and unconstitutional. This is not only in Europe and America. It includes the UN Human Rights Committee, S, Africa and most recently Hong Kong. The legislatures in UK, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, South Korea, the Philippines, Cambodia, Vietnam, Indonesia and even China have also passed laws decriminalising such acts.Singapore will be woefully out-of-step with the rest of the world should it move to retain this Victorian legislation only weeks after Newsweek magazine’s cover story proclaimed that “the battle for gay rights is gaining ground across the globe” and hailed the repeal of laws similar to s377A across the globe as “a global civil-rights revolution”.4. Domestic Trends

The attitude of Singaporeans have become much more accepting of alternative sexuality. Between 2000 and 2005, the level of acceptance has changed from 10% to more than 30%. The latest figure is taken from Mark Cenite and B. Detenber’s article in the International Journal of Public Opinion Research. Furthermore, the Straits Times online census in July 2007 indicated a tolerance level of 55%.Admittedly, different public polls can often illustrate contrasting views and the sum of all these statistics makes it difficult to get a clear view of popular sentiment. However we believe that the law of our land does not exist to be popular, but to be fair and just for all people. This is a belief we know is shared by many.5. Damage to the Gay Community

If the current amendment bill succeeds, the resulting law will become a bitter symbol to many gay Singaporean men, young and old. It will hinder greater understanding and integration of these people, who are often responsible, invaluable and highly respected contributing members of society. The only thing that makes these people different from the majority of Singaporeans is that they are biologically-pre-disposed to love differently. It will be a slap in the face to their significant contributions and encourage many more to leave our shores for more open-minded societies. Singapore’s most valuable resource is its citizens. We cannot afford to lose them.S377A will also affect the status and moral citizenship of gay men in society. The government has openly welcomed gays and lesbians into the civil service. But this law will only discourage equal-treatment for gay employees everywhere and diminish the moral standing these men and have rightfully earned. We fear it will be a seed for further acts of discrimination.Criminalising gay sex also impedes effective safer-sex messages being disseminated effectively to gay men and other men at risk of contracting HIV. There are numerous studies which have concluded that HIV prevention programs in environments where gay sex is criminalised are resoundingly ineffective. The fight against HIV/AIDS is an important issue which affects all Singaporeans. There should be no impediment to getting this life saving information out.

Branding gays as outlaws will be destructive to the self-worth of those individuals and could lead to an increased incidence of self-harm. Thought should also be given to gay youth who struggle deeply with this issue. This law would only add more trauma to what is already a very difficult period in their lives.

6. Pragmatism, Leadership and the Future

You and our government have always shown a willingness to make tough pragmatic decisions for the best interests of our country. Decisions made with conviction, despite opposition from various interest groups, religious organisations and minorities.In a recent address at NUS, you talked about this issue and said that “we will not reach consensus however much we discuss it. The views are passionately held on both sides. The more you discuss it, the angrier they become. The subject will not go away.” Having admitted that we are at an impasse, it seems only logical that the way to move forward is for the government to take a lead with the same conviction and leadership it has always shown.

We keep hearing that Singapore society is ‘too conservative’ for this law to be repealed. This is not a strong enough reason to deny a group of Singaporeans equal rights. Far more conservative countries have done away with laws like these and are none the worse for it. We are a modern, democratic and secular state. While there will always be a place for conservative mores, we also need to protect and nurture space for tolerance and open-mindedness to flourish.

You have often said that your goal is to create a tolerant and progressive society for all Singaporeans. We urge you to now demonstrate your commitment to achieve this goal. Repealing this biased law will be a symbolic milestone to signal to fellow Singaporeans and the world that this is the vision of Singapore that we all share.

Yours faithfully,

It’s the first time a scene of a gay couple kissing makes it to daytime soap.

As The World Turns has Luke and Noah — gay couple in the making, share their first kiss in broad daylight. Not entirely earth-shattering news, but it’s progress nonetheless.

Watch it on YouTube: http://youtube.com/watch?v=DVsX9RnoHGk

This is a sponsored post.

The last place I thought I’d meet with homophobia was right here in Canada.

Granted, she is a Singaporean christian. A christian Singaporean. And a very staunch, conventional, close-minded one at that.

It still isn’t a good enough reason for such bigotry.

I’m torn between wanting to educate her and saving myself the exasperation. Since I knew she would be that kind of person, why did I bother to correct her use of pronouns when she asked whether I’ve met a special someone?

She’s one of those kinds. The kind parents throw money to another country’s economy just so that she can live in her own comfortable well.

At a time like this I realize my folly of taking for granted the acceptance from people around me. Now I’m so angry over some ignorant comments.

I think she pretty much said all the things she was taught to say. All the things people like her would ask and say. Am I serious about it? Will I grow out of it? Maybe I’ve been in a girls’ school for too long? Was it the boyfriend that made me like this? According to her, proper churches deem gay-friendly churches as “cult groups”. What say you about God loves all? By violating the first natural right of mankind, equality and acceptance, you think your kind dominates your fellows which God could never intend. She also assured me that she’ll “still be [my] friend”, like I’m someone who has chronic bad breath or something to be assured with “don’t worry, I’ll still be your friend”. WTF?!

She also hopes that my relationship will end, and very generously invited me to join her at her church.

If you are an exemplary of a church-going product, I refuse to step into that brainwashing institution, thank you very much.

Disclaimer: I’m not accusing Christians as a whole. But you gotta admit, there are just some of you who simply tarnish your own great religious identity.

You know, if you really manage to come over, I’ll sign the papers.

Keywords: Same-sex marriage; non-residents welcome; $100.

How To Get Married In British Columbia

Are you eligible to marry in BC?

You do not have to be a British Columbia resident to be married in the province. However, you are required to get a Marriage Licence valid only in British Columbia.

Anyone over 19 years of age is eligible to apply for a marriage licence in BC. Anyone under 19 years of age must first obtain the consent of both parents. Click here for the consent form or get the form from the local Marriage Licence Issuer. No one under 16 years can be married without the consent of the Supreme or County Court.

If one or both individuals were recently divorced within the last 31 days, proof of divorce must be provided. No licence is issued until the courts finalize a divorce, normally 31 days after the divorce decree is issued by the Courts.

To marry, blood tests are not required under British Columbia legislation.

Apply for a Marriage Licence

To get married in British Columbia, the Marriage Act requires that the couple get a Marriage Licence. You may get married during the three-month term of the licence.

Only one member of the couple needs to apply for a marriage licence. Click here for the marriage licence application and fee. Find here locations of Marriage Licence Issuers. Please bring the following identification for both individuals who plan to marry.

• Full name, including given names
• Birth date and birth place
• Marital status
• Current address

The marriage licence is issued at the time of application. The marriage licence is non-refundable, valid for three months and may not be extended.

Arrange the Marriage Ceremony

In British Columbia, couples can choose a religious or civil ceremony, which must be witnessed by two people.

To perform the religious ceremony, you can choose a religious representative who must be registered with the Vital Statistics Agency, under the Marriage Act.

In BC, civil ceremonies are performed by marriage commissioners, who are appointed by the Chief Executive Officer of the Vital Statistics Agency. For more details, click on Information about Marriage Commissioners.

If you plan to have a civil ceremony, contact and book a marriage commissioner as soon as possible once you set your wedding date. Make sure you provide the necessary information on your wedding:

• Date and time of your wedding ceremony
• Location and address
• Payment of fees to the commissioner

Additional information can be helpful, including the number of guests and people in the wedding party, plus any special wardrobe or other requests.

Find here the approved wedding ceremony for your use. Any changes should be discussed with your marriage commissioner. Please note that the bold text is mandatory for all civil ceremonies in British Columbia.

Register the Marriage

The marriage commissioner or religious representative who will perform the wedding ceremony will help complete the Marriage Registration Form. Within 48 hours of the wedding ceremony, the form will be sent to the Vital Statistics Agency, where the marriage will be registered and a legal record will be kept.

Proof of Marriage

At the time of the ceremony, your marriage commissioner or religious representative may provide a statement of marriage, which can be used temporarily as proof of marriage. However, it is not a legal document.

You will receive a legal Marriage Certificate from the Vital Statistics Agency after the registration of the marriage.

Which name can I use?

After marriage, you can continue using or choose to use your own surname at any time. You also gain the right to use your spouse’s surname. This does not result in a legal change of name or any automatic change to your identification records.

If you choose to use hyphenated surnames, a legal Change of Name is required.

- From BC Vital Statistics Agency

What was so surprising:

Rumours have been going around my class that I’m a lesbian.

I’m puzzled as to how this started, and I realize that I cannot underestimate the power of word-of-mouth here.

I’m okay with people knowing that I have a girlfriend, afterall I have a site-wide disclosure (look at my header image). However, I want to say that I do not identify as a lesbian, or else I would be doing that label no good. I just like Sam, or whoever else, for who she is, and not having a dick is not an issue to me. Maybe by denying the lesbian label, people will deem me as a bisexual, but I’d like to be somewhere or nowhere between the two, because I don’t like these classifications, and all the connotations behind them.

I am how I am, I love who I love, and I will not buy whatever tag you try to slap on me.

I just advocate that people can be who they want to be, and everyone can love who they love and be with whoever they want, regardless of what the norm is, despite what establishments say. We deserve that freedom.

That’s all. It’s very simple. (Or I could be in denial.)

Picture was grabbed from some site that I hope will not have copyright issues with me.