Squareface tries

November 16th, 2007 · 6 Comments · Ramblings

I’m developing a phobia for writing.

Every week it’s an ego-bashing session at the Writing Creative Non-Fiction Workshop I signed up for. We sit around in a circle like Alcoholics Anonymous and pacify each other’s bulging egos (that of writers and writer wannabes), and every week I am slapped with the reality that I’m the weakest link (I don’t think this is even the right usage).

Each week I struggle to come up with a decent piece of work for submission, but each time I look up after reading an excerpt aloud, their eyes blink back with sympathy for the awkward Asian kid who can’t write beyond what’s in-your-face.

It’s ego-bruising to know you’re the weakest; lousiest; most self-conscious.

Yet I turn up every week, because I know I’ll be letting myself down if I don’t. There’s still the likelihood of potential, and the possibility of unleashing something that I hope will be unleashed soon.

Or at least the ego-deflating sessions will wake me up from my own delusion and I’ll quit clinging on to fat hope.

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6 responses so far ↓

1 Lacretia // Nov 16, 2007 at 4:37 am

hahaha! for some reasons, I find this post very funny! Anyway, just becoz nobody understands what u r writing, does not mean its not good. I mean, who can understand Shakespeare or Tennyson but learn them because they know both are good?
2 Squareface // Nov 16, 2007 at 12:28 pm

FWAH how can u use Shakespeare and Tennyson as an analogy to juxtapose my writing? Such an insult to them, I hope they don’t flip in their graves. You’d better apologize to them man.
3 Squareface // Nov 16, 2007 at 12:42 pm

Ok but thanks for your encouragement (I think?). But it’s not that they don’t understand me, more like I’m too much of an amateur.
4 Lacretia // Nov 17, 2007 at 10:14 pm

haha! does usage of BIG words mean Advance/Profound? the secret of best works lies in their s.i.m.p.l.i.c.i.t.y.
5 Squareface // Nov 17, 2007 at 10:25 pm

yeah but it isn’t abt big words…they’re not bombastic either…it’s the existence of style, and it’s clear who has it and who doesn’t
6 Squareface @ 49°North » The day I was stuck in an elevator // Nov 20, 2007 at 7:36 pm

[...] account. But since I’m staying away from writing (other than necessary essays) because of a growing phobia, I’ll just leave it to your imagination, [...]