Squareface @ 31°North

If you blog mostly about yourself, do you agree that you’re mainly using blogging as an avenue to sort out your own thoughts? It has been a long while since I wrote frequently in my “traditional” diary, and I haven’t touched the diary ever since I resorted to blogging. I don’t think you can know a person for what they really are by reading their blogs since most of the time we blog by hiding this and magnifying that, agreed? The personal diary might contain the formula to a person’s heart instead. But ever since owning a laptop, I think my hand isn’t accustomed to the pen anymore. Thus by extension, I may not be as conditioned to write deep personal thoughts as I used to, and I am losing that kind of honesty as the days go by. The lies I tell myself are aplenty, but not like the mountains I tell others all the time now. Without hesitance, even.

I haven’t been blogging “religiously” (quoting Shaina) recently since there are many little things scattered all over my head. These days the voice in my head mostly goes,”Ok, go xx place to get the slip of paper, then go across to xx place to pay for it, then come back to xx place to collect the transcript, then go across to another place to submit the transcript for the official stamp, go downstairs to pay for it, and come back the day after to collect the transcript” (standard of procedure for getting a copy of your transcript in Fudan), or “after the 2nd period, look for xx teacher to ask for a recommendation letter, after the 4th period, look for xx teacher to go to his house to collect the recommendation letter, then go for a meeting at xx time, go for a talk at xx time”, and “scan and photocopy at xx place (because it costs half the price than the place across), then go across to take passport photo (pay money today, but collect tomorrow), then perhaps grab a bite while waiting for xx time to meet xx teacher to talk about recommendation letter”. There’s also “email TOEFL centre to ask why I haven’t received my TOEFL score report, find out about Canada’s visa requirements, confirm with Singapore’s China Embassy of CGS application, ask mom for bank statement, translate exam transcript, ask dad to send over the essential documents for application…”. You get the kind of mess I have in my head now?

There could be other factors that mess with my head in pernicious ways, so I’m glad it’s just these little things for now. Anyway, recently, if anything troubles me, I can watch SHAINA’s VIDEO to destress a little (Haha, Shaina, don’t scold me ok I’m giving you free advertisement).