You know you’re in a corporate office environment when you start proposing everything you suggest; will do things you’re okay with; revert to people to get back to them; conduct meetings for all kinds of discussion; things you understand are noted; you bring up things in regards to a previously discussed issue; and kiv (Keep In View) (Kay-Aye-Vee) anything you don’t want to think about now.

In regards to this site, sorry I haven’t been able to entertain you as I’ve been busy having meetings, preparing for a presentation today, and kiv-ed this site for a while. I will revert to blogging as much as I can, asap.

Disclaimer: The way “revert” and “in regards to” are used here is not Standard English, but have weaved themselves seamlessly into common office lingo. The grammatically correct usage is, “In regard to corporate jargon, it is so widely used that we have become numb to the errors. Try as we might to correct people who use them, they may revert to old ways and continue to perpetuate these expressions.”

SHANGHAI, China - Taxi drivers in China’s financial capital of Shanghai are to be issued with “spit sacks” to curb their habit of rolling down their windows and hawking into the road, state media reported on Tuesday.

Phlegmatic cabbies will soon have a sack fixed to the metal grill that surrounds the driver’s seat, so that both they and their passengers can make use of it.

The special sacks will be distributed to 45,000 taxis by the Shanghai Patriotic Sanitation Committee to curb spitting in public places, a habit Chinese authorities have long been trying to discourage.

“The ’no spitting’ regulation came after Shanghai decided to make people give up the ugly and unhygienic habit and present a healthy city for the 2010 World Expo,” the China Daily said.

The spit sack follows an earlier innovation in Shanghai’s public hygiene, after the city attached spittoons to garbage cans on sidewalks, the newspaper reported.

The spittoons, however, were not a success. Residents mistook them for ashtrays.

Organizers of the 2008 Beijing Olympics, worried about the reaction of visitors, have repeatedly said the capital needs to teach its people to stand in line, stop spitting and littering and generally be better mannered.

As modern a city as Shanghai is, the habit of spitting looks like it’s going to take a long time to curb, and it seems that desperate measures must be taken. I wonder how keeping the spittoons in the cabs will be hygienic though. The windows are tightly shut during winter, and I suspect the spittoons might not be cleaned/disposed of everyday. And the idea of the spittoon being a communal one for both the driver and passengers?! What kind of euphemism is “spit sack” for a spittoon anyway?

The perks of working in VTP, a government organization: (actual name of organization is protected)

1. The office is located at City Hall, right smack in the centre of Singapore, so I can get a very mesmerizing view of Singapore, which is just the thing I need after long periods away from home
2. I get my own laptop — a Fujitsu Lifebook — of which I can even take home with me
3. My email address has a gov.sg domain
4. I am well-respected by very friendly colleagues
5. Access to a vending machine that dispenses free drinks
6. Purchase of snacks from a vending machine at highly subsidized rates (e.g. 10 cents for a packet of 3 Oreo cookies)
7. Due to centralized location of office, places to walk and good places to eat are all a stone’s throw away
8. Access to a very comprehensive resource centre
9. Sparkling clean toilets, complete with paper toilet seat covers, paper towels, and automatic taps
10. I’ve been bought 2 lunches, and today was my 2nd day of work!

The drawback:

The view of Singapore from the tower is really very captivating. I can’t help but stare out the window a lot.

1. Iron your shirt the night before in the dark so that your shirt is still creased

2. Forget to bring your pair of spectacles when you only have one contact lens on one eye

3. Wear a pair of shoes that have been left unworn for a long period of time, so that one of the high-heels will break away just after you shake hands with the HR exec. Then, try to salvage the situation by breaking off the other heel, so that you can walk around for the rest of the day in seemingly flats, but looking like the bottom of your shoes got bitten off. Then you can proceed with the rest of the day by leaving remnants of your leather sole all over the office floor.

Before I pack this laptop into the common, reliable, convenient, but very ugly bag, maybe it’s appropriate for me to say a few words.

This semester has seen me through quite a bit, but I can only pat myself on the back if I can get through semesters with bears and squirrels — especially squirrels — while wearing a smile on my face. You probably won’t be able to understand what it is I’m saying because I try not to bitch here.

I will be having a more insightful site in time to come. And may life imitate art.

Thank you all who have expressed concern, and who still want to bond with me despite my long periods of absence. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when all those things happened to you.

I thank my initiative friend who always makes extra effort to gather all of us, so how can I say no? Clarke Quay…hmmm, maybe I’ll ask the person who has a very unique name that comprises of a bear and a Flintstone whether she would like to meet up first like the previous time, but this time we must remember not to eat McDonalds before the meet-up. Hmm, but I won’t agree to anything Chinese too. So. I guess Moroccan sounds real good for ALL of us since it’s non-somewhere-one-of-us-has-been-in-for-months-and-is-sick-of-the-food. Although I think only drinks are involved.

Eh. Actually it didn’t occur to me that I’ll be home this soon. I didn’t give it much thought. And the idea of starting work on Monday makes home unappealing. But as the faces of my friends get a little clearer, I am starting to look forward to prata nights, crab evenings, dessert all-day, laksa, bak chor mee, chicken rice, wanton mee, horfun, char kway teow, fried black carrot cake, yong tau foo, morning fried bee hoon, curry puff, squid head fritters, fried kangkong, my dad’s cod fish, my mom’s sushi…and somebody’s pillows.

Cars will suddenly stop for me (hail Squareface!), no car horns as my alarm clock, and… everything will be so expensive.

Haha, I’ll see you all real soon!

There are many people who try to get you down through covert or overt means — and they are prevalent — but then there are those who get to you inadvertently. Like a squirrel that scampers to the middle of the road causing you to jam your brakes, it scurries away righteously after retrieving its nut, whilst you’re left there in shock. In the course of becoming confusedly antagonized, you simply have to drive off and let it indulge in its nut, because it’s all that matters to it. You see, it’s because you are not even in its peripheral range.

Most of my close friends can vouch for me that I’ve been having problems with my mother ever since my onset of pubescence clashed with her menopausal years. The tournament between raging hormones and disappearing ones led to symphonies of door-slamming and fire-spitting that went on for years, with no winner.

Until I came here.

Occasionally she still puts me down or disapproves of little things, but just last night we were discussing about my holiday plans, our holiday plans, and laughing about how she made a risky investment on my brother.

And we agreed to eat black pepper crabs immediately after I arrive in Singapore!

Ah, the paradox. Distance draws us closer.

Whilst I was buying items that I intend to sell back home, I noticed that most of the hagglers, who like me, went to shops and asked about buying at wholesale prices, were as young as me! Okay, I’m not that young anymore, but these shoppers were university students or younger.

Just walk along Fudan University’s Arts buildings during lunch hour, and you will see the sidewalks teeming with fellow students taking a shot at earning some extra bucks and gaining exposure with their gutsy entrepreneurship. They risk getting caught by the police (aka 黑猫) and having their whole collection of goods confiscated, but many youths are willing to take on such adversities face on, deriving thrills from it.

Teenagers were pulling trolleys of big canvas bags which contained the supplies that they just purchased from the wholesale market. The contrast between their numerous big canvas bags and my handful of bags of little items served to reflect the amount of guts or business-mind we have respectively.

I simply want to lelong lelong, something I must try before I die. Will you be supporting me?

(In a particular shop, I start browsing the rack)

Shop personnel: 喜欢什么吗美女？喜欢我给你便宜点。[Do you fancy anything, pretty girl? If you like anything I can give you a discount)

Me: (pointing at a certain item): 这个怎么卖？[How much is this?]

Shop personnel：这个啊，给你优惠，150。[This? I'll give you a special price of 150RMB]

Me：啊那么贵啊. [Gosh, that's expensive]

Shop personnel：已经给你优惠了啊！好吧小姑娘那你说多少？[I'm already offering you a very special rate! Alright, name a price then, Miss.]

Me: (quotes some price）[ranges between 30-60RMB]

Shop personnel: (price I quoted）不能卖啊真的！再加一点好不好啊小姑娘？[That's not a feasible price! Increase the price a little, will you, Miss?]

Me: (either adamant about the price I quoted or increase it a little）

Shop personnel：不行！好了别说了，一口价，给你120好不好？[No way! Okay, let's just make a deal, 120RMB ok?]

Me: (starts to walk away)

Shop personnel：小姑娘！要是有诚意买的话就再加一点吧！100块！[Come on Miss! If you're sincere in buying, offer me a better price!]

Me：不要。(walks out of shop）[I don't want it (referring to both the price and the item)]

Shop personnel：过来啦小姑娘，有心买就过来好好说嘛！70块！要就拿去！[Come over here Miss, if you really want to buy it let's negotiate harmoniously! 70RMB and it's yours!]

Me: (turns around, smiles, and waves a “no”)

Shop personnel: 过来！拿去吧，拿去吧！[Alright already! Just take it (at the price I quoted right from the start, which may even be the initially ridiculous 30RMB)]

*NB: Scenario only applicable to highly bargainable places. Eg. QiPu Wholesale Market, XinYang shopping mall (the new XiangYang market), etc.

I may seem to have appeared victorious, until I see another place with the exact same item asking for the same price I had bargained for. Or worse, cheaper. I don’t get this bargaining culture. National pasttime? It’s great to feel that you made a good buy, but the nagging thought that you might have gotten it cheaper inevitably makes you feel constantly fearful of being cheated.

I thought I would be free to crash classes at NUS, SMU, and NAFA. I also thought I could add an NUS bazaar and flea market to that schedule. Then I thought I would include going to Brisbane and Melbourne to spend time with my brother on my agenda. All these above my intended explorations of Singapore and meeting up with friends.
Today I received news that I have been accepted to intern at VTP (pseudonym used here).

Goodbye class crashing, goodbye brother, fly away Australia, fly away Singapore (explorations).

I’m very excited, but I feel quite stressed already. I intended to spend more time with my parents this holidays (which is, by the way, very short, about a month), meet up with friends and all…but now I have this pressing feeling of some sort…I guess this stems from my wanting to accomplish a number of things this holidays.

See you soon! In about a week!