An unfathomable thing like love – how can I possibly go about defining it on my own terms?
Love to me has been and is going to be an arduous journey. I do not foresee myself walking down the mainstream aisle in wedded bliss, nor will I be able to produce offspring through the physical union with my partner as most people do. I also have to endure endless questioning, ridicule and criticism for being a deviant in the eyes of the majority.
Experiencing the difficulties and still wanting to be with her makes me know that this is love. I want to be there for her always – her nurse when she falls ill; her pillar of support when she breaks down; her source of strength when the going gets tough; and her party thrower when it is time to celebrate an achievement. I am also thankful that she wants to be all these things and more, and that she is waiting patiently for me to complete my studies before we embark on our lifetime journey hand in hand.
I start to overlook her flaws as time goes by. Her tantrum throwing translates to me as gestures of concern; her uncleanliness signifies she is completely at ease with me; and her poor language skills imply that our mutual understanding surpasses language.
I appreciate her small gestures of affection –- scrimping and saving to buy international calling cards to talk to me; letting me have the thigh meat whenever we eat fried chicken; making me shower first because the hot water will only flow for the first fifteen minutes or so.
At my most vulnerable and unguarded moments, I trust her wholeheartedly. She is the confidante of my woes; my counsellor; and my punching bag. She knows about the dreams I did not fulfil due to inertia, the selfishness I cannot get rid of, and the insecurities I have about everything. Yet, she sticks by me, even when I wanted to give up, despite all my shortcomings, and in spite of my sojourn overseas away from her.
Pop culture portrays love unrealistically and feeds us with images of instant gratification, and many of us get sucked in with these illusions that are merely created for entertainment. Contrary to that portrayal, it has been a long journey for her and me and there is still a long bumpy road ahead to persist, but we never complain because we have each other to walk the rough path with.
It is amazing how two different people inexplicably want to form a togetherness. Perhaps it is simply part of human nature to want a constant someone to rely on, to mutually appreciate each other’s company, and may even be interpreted as a kind of dependency. During this continuous swimming against the tide of heterogeneity, I have learnt to look upon love as something mystical and powerful that transcends all boundaries. No one should be scorned for simply loving someone for who the person is.
