You know it’s really in the little things.
I suddenly recalled that I used to have my own little corner of the old fridge back at home, where I would place all my candy stash and it was a silent agreement that no one was to touch it. I miss the quarrels I would have with my brother whenever he took anything from that stash and thought I wouldn’t notice it. But mostly, I miss that sense of belonging.
It saddens me when my father messages me on MSN and asks me about my brother, whom he hasn’t had the chance to talk to, and asks me to encourage my brother to just finish his studies and go on, that he’s worried about him. My father also included a crying face and heartbroken emoticon, and says that my brother is grown up and he’s leaving it to my brother to decide his own future.
Suddenly I want so much to be shopping at Suntec City’s Carrefour with my mother. I’m willing to listen to her nagging and want to laugh at her peculiar ways.
My family has never really been close, and now that 1 of us is in the north hemisphere, 2 at the equator, and the other down under, it’s really going to be a long time before all 4 of us will be in one place. And even when we are, I don’t know whether there will actually be a glue of any sort that can hold us.
I’m sorry I keep sounding negative. I can’t seem to muster any happy thoughts at 0 degrees. Smiling would make my skin crack anyway.
Bear with me. 5 more weeks. 5 more weeks and I can watch programmes on an LCD screen, and drive around in a Nissan Latio with her beside me.
And I will be able to perspire.
