There are so many people to thank for helping me keep my sanity intact through these trying college years. Don’t know if you all think this is too sappy of me though. Haha. Bear with me, for this is probably the first and the last.

First and foremost, I would like to extend my eternal gratitude to my parents. This goes without being said: without them, I wouldn’t be here.

To the teachers who have inspired me and pushed me to achieve my potential these four years, I thank thee, all two of you. To the rest of the teachers, thank you for giving me a pass grade. To some of them, you might want to consider a career change, teaching is not just a job.

As an emotionally dependent idiot, I owe the woman I spent 4 unforgettable years with for being there through my foul tempers and for being a lasting punching bag. She saw me through my transition from a feisty youth to a resigned chinese university student, and stayed. When my temper called for it, she flew to Hong Kong at my whim, and even to Shanghai just to help me with my unpacking when I moved to a one-bedroom apartment. She has been relentless in giving all she can to me, even when I long stopped deserving it. You know who you are — thank you.

To MissY who’s somewhat grudgingly still by my side, I know your patience with me reaches your limit many a time, and I thank you for bearing with my bitchiness, nagging, and laziness with household chores. Let’s hope this year of pseudo married life will bring much laughter to our new home. Thank you also for being my pillar of support, and more importantly, school administration informant these four years in college. Haha. Thank you for staying by me when I was at my lowest, and for forgiving me when I couldn’t even forgive myself. 

To CG who is currently in lovely London finishing up his Master’s, thank you so much for all your encouragement and advice through the trials and tribulations these 4 years. Also grateful for your help when I had to move one too many times, and for our many reasons to celebrate with treats! Your wisdom and academic talent have also been of great help to my little academic pursuits. Thanks mostly for keeping it real when the rest of the world seemed to sway the other side. Much credit has to be given to you for the sanity I have today. 

To other FUSSA-ians, although your recollection of times with me is probably of yesteryears, I do sincerely appreciate the help and support available from FUSSA these years. I wish all of you success in your endeavors.

To Vanessa, my closest Chinese friend, thanks for daring to be different from the herd, and looking out for me when most didn’t. I appreciate your honesty and cherish our years of friendship in Shanghai.

To my other Chinese classmates, thanks for being patient with my Chinese and Mandarin, and listening to my presentations with accented English even when the teacher was not in the classroom. As we embark on our different paths after this, I hope we remember the good times when we acted out “Cupid and Psyche” and other fun skits in English class.

To my one and only Italian friend Marta, your independence and courage have been of great motivation to me, and I thank you for our heart-to-heart talks, and all your encouragement that would not have been possible without your open mind.

To Birte, hailing from Hamburg, thank you for imparting some of your mature wisdom on to me. Meeting you at that fateful Irish talk was a lucky day. =)

To Yuka, thanks for sharing your interesting china experiences recently, and I do hope you achieve your goals in the near future.

Connie, thanks firstly for feeding me with great food and letting me introduce you to unhealthy snacking and life-saving instant noodles. My stomach is grateful for your occasional treats of banana bread, Reese’s and your bag of half-eaten chips. Thanks for being so cozy with me so quick at Gage, and helping me make my stint in UBC a very memorable one. 

Thanks also to my other roommates at Gage, who made 6 pax living extremely comfortable, even though we only had one toilet cubicle! Thanks loads for sharing your utensils, but mostly for giving me intimate insights into Canadian culture.

To Grace, Elena, and Madeline, thanks for the great times in UBC! The meals, the drinks, the skipping class to climb Grouse Mountain (not once but twice!), and the talking cock before and after MLT class.

To my beloved supportive friends back home: Winni, Reina, Celine, Joanne, Lay Shan, Shufen, Shuh Tien, Shaina, Dino, Yiling, Yunling, Wz, Js, etc. Thanks for all the support and encouragement! I’m also grateful to some of you for calling/webcaming/skyping/msning once in a while to share intimate details of our lives. It’s absolutely gratifying to know that friends back home still care despite the distance, and it’s life’s great luxury to be able to chat over roti prata etc with pals whenever I’m back in Singapore.

Thanks dot for always showing concern and offering medical advice at critical moments! 

Nicole, we seem to only meet long after the sun sets, but, good times.

Joice, thanks for the inspiration to take the road less taken.

To anyone else I may have missed mentioning here, you are missed and thanked too!

Starting full-time work tomorrow (1 July), and I guess it’s farewell to academia. 

Although I’ve had many misgivings in the past with Fudan University, I sang the school song on the day of commencement. Not so much because I felt proud or whatever, but ‘coz it’s quite a good piece:

Fudan School Song:

Goodbye bouts of nostalgia, hello full-blown adulthood.

Does it mean I speak impeccable English, can be referred to as an English grammar handbook, spout bombastic English vocabulary, or authorized to correct your English? Barely. If I’m qualified to do anything, it is to show you how ugly my graduation photo and certificates are (name and id numbers have been unskillfully removed by me):

Thanks to CG for sharing this song with me, What do you do with a BA in English?

What do you do with a B.A. in English,
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college and plenty of knowledge,
Have earned me this useless degree.

I can’t pay the bills yet,
‘Cause I have no skills yet,
The world is a big scary place.

But somehow I can’t shake,
The feeling I might make,
A difference,
To the human race.

I just sat for my final paper in university, possibly the very last one of my life. It was for my Shakespeare elective. Everyone left the exam room complaining about it, because the final mini-essay question was not in the text at all, nor did he give us any clue that he’d drop such a bomb. We studied excerpts from 9 plays: The Twelfth Night, Measure for Measure, Henry IV, Richard III, Julius Caesar, Macbeth, Hamlet, The Tempest, and The Two Noble Kinsmen. But the critical exam question was on The Merchant of Venice! O, judge o you Gods, what fools he makes of us.

In spite of that, I’m very pleased. This university life is over. OVER! 

Since nostalgia hasn’t kicked in, let me say all this now. I’m so glad I don’t have to sit in those toilet-stenched classrooms with creaky fold-down wooden chairs paired with completely vandalized wooden chipped off tables anymore letting voices of boredom weave in and out of my semi-wakefulness, resting on my one too many photocopied copyright breached textbooks distributed at almost no cost. I’m even more elated at the fact that I don’t have to write on A3 brown thinner-than-toilet-paper exam answer sheets while witnessing how students are referring to small pieces of paper in their pencilcases, underneath skirts, or under caps. Or more recently, students leaving the classroom for the bathroom and miraculously filling up their papers with the right answers after they return.

I wish I could say I’m also done with the administration people in my university, but alas, I still need them in order to graduate.

Peace, ho! Studies and exams, I bid thee farewell.

Welcome to China. Since we cannot sh**t everyone who speaks of Ti*et or the Ti*n*nm*n m*ss*cr*, we have taken the liberty to clean the Internet for you! Proudly known as the Great Firewall of China, net nannies in China have helped BLOCKED sites that may contain misinformation. In the past few years, we have banned, and sometimes gave intermittent access, to blogspot.com, wordpress.com, livejournal.com, multiply.com, squarespace.com, and many other blogging platforms. From March 2009, YouTube has joined that list. Just this afternoon, Twitter has been added to the strength of the Great Firewall. We hope you are pleased to find the Internet in China to be free from, well, popular English community sites, which we believe are dangerous and inaccurate message spreaders. 

Afterall, what proves innocence better than the silencing of voices?

China blocks Twitter service ahead of anniversary

Tue Jun 2, 2009 7:35am EDT

 

By Lucy Hornby

BEIJING (Reuters) - Access to the popular social networking service Twitter and email service Hotmail was blocked across mainland China late on Tuesday afternoon, two days before the twentieth anniversary of a bloody crackdown on Tiananmen Square.

Indignant users filled chatrooms with protest, after access to Twitter was denied shortly after 5:00 pm (0900 GMT) on Tuesday.

“The whole Twitter community in China has been exploding with it,” said Beijing-based technology commentator Kaiser Kuo.

“It’s just part of life here. If anything surprises me, it’s that it took them so long.”

Thursday is the twentieth anniversary of June 4, 1989, when tanks rolled into Tiananmen Square before dawn to quell weeks of protest by students and workers. China has never released a death toll from the crackdown on what it classes as a “counter-revolutionary” conspiracy.

Other Internet users reported not being able to access Windows Live, a service offered by Microsoft Corp. which also owns Hotmail, and also Flickr, an online photo sharing service owned by Yahoo.

“This is so frustrating. Now I feel China is exactly the same as Iran,” said a financial professional and avid Twitter user in Shanghai, referring to Iran’s May ban of popular social networking site Facebook.

Twitter is an Internet-based text message service that allows users to post updates — called “tweets” — of no more than 140 characters.

Users in Beijing reported accessing the service without difficulty earlier on Tuesday, and even successfully searching potentially sensitive words such as “Tiananmen.”

While professional and urban Chinese often use foreign Internet tools, including Twitter, Hotmail and Facebook, the vast majority of Chinese use similar domestic services that are carefully monitored for any sign of content deemed subversive.

Access to video-sharing site YouTube, owned by Google was blocked in China in March, after overseas Tibetan groups posted graphic footage of China’s crackdown on protests by Tibetans in 2008.

 

(Additional reporting by George Chen in Hong Kong; Editing by David Fox)

Article source: Reuters
More on Guardian.co.uk

Something happened about a month back between myself and a close friend, at a certain cafe in Shanghai at about midnight, which left me in complete ire. Instead of talking about it that very night and allowing the wound to fester thereafter, I’ve taken the liberty to let the anger wane with time, and place what happened that night in a different perspective.

With this overdue post, many irate thoughts have since dissipated. Which I hope allows my position to be one of objectivity.

As some of you know, my relationship with MissY has a definite expiration date. What was supposed to be this July upon graduation has since been shifted to an unknown date sometime next year. The end is inevitable and we knew it from the beginning, but here we are, happily together. Many cannot understand why we even fought hard for this, given a self-destructive ex on one side and a suicidal depressed “roommate” on the other. But we have emerged from some ugly past determined to be happy while we can, together preferably. Yes I’m digressing but essentially, what I’m trying to say is that nobody can be certain how long you and your partner can stay together, but you can be sure you want to stick it out with someone who makes you happy, so why not allow that happiness to stay in your life for as long as possible? In fact, the knowledge of an impending deadline has made us all the more glad we have the now. Would you have chosen to not have begun at all, and never get a taste of this bliss?

So anyway, this close friend of ours, being very concerned for my well-being, said to me one month ago: “Why don’t you go back to being normal? …live life like a common person…It is the proven right way…it is human’s duty to pass on generations…think about how you will hurt your parents’ feelings…you will feel more secure in the common path…”

If any of my friends reading this agree with her, please don’t ever, EVER, say such things to me. I withheld expletives and possibly a mental breakdown then, but I’m not sure if I can bear another stab like that. She cut me deep.

I argued with her point by point, and I believe my English that night was one of my most fluent occasions. I don’t think I need to repeat that conversation with her here, but I know our friendship, if it can still exist, will never be the same again. 

I was appalled. I thought that after 3 years of solid friendship and all the things I told her in confidence meant she understood perfectly well. Obviously from what she said she hadn’t, and may never will, though I hope to change that. I could have heard those words from some acquaintance, someone I don’t care so much about, and I wouldn’t flinch an inch; but to hear it all spilling out from her mouth? I really thought she knew better than to spout such homophobic and bigoted critique. 

There is simply no “proven right way” of living, loving, or anything. There probably isn’t a “right thing to do” either. We are all captives of what we have created with our own minds and misconstrued judgements, and if you do use your brain you would know better than to trust them. Sometimes categories/classifications that carry negative connotations make us prone to shunning it, not wanting to be associated with it in any way whatsoever for fear of the social eyes staring at you, pointing fingers and whispering. But if you would stand back and take a look, categories/classifications only serve to exclude, divide and subjugate. They are but human creations. Which means they are (extremely) fallible. So why do you want to let them rule your life?

I received the following text message from my class representative:

“通知：周四没来拍照的同学请发一张个人生活照到＊＊＊＊＊，最好是风景照，照相馆的人会负责PS上去”

(Notice: Those who didn’t join us for photo-taking on Thursday, please send a casual photo of yourself to *****. An ideal picture would be one with scenery as background, as the photography studio staff will be responsible for using photoshop to place you in the faculty group shot.)

The powers of photoshop.

Or the Chinese power of enforcing everyone’s “presence” in an important group photo?

I said yes!

Will most probably start full-time employment in July. 

So I’m now a junior editor at an internet firm. My first job sounds great!

I do wonder if I took it on too early though. Hovering on the line between school and work hasn’t been all nerve-calming. The worst sacrifice has been my freedom to travel, taken away from me, through my own accord of chaining myself to employment. I haven’t stepped out of Shanghai since I came back for this semester in February. Boo.

To be politically correct, I look forward to an exciting and fulfilling time at the workplace!

To be honest, my advice to myself is quit thinking about the money and focus on the skills you’ll acquire, experience and exposure you’ll gain, and everything else money can never provide! Bah.

I believe content in this blog has been dwindling. That’s another trade off.

Starting to miss home actually. I would have demanded friends to give me first job gifts like wrist rests, a usb keyboard cleaner, and any miscellaneous desk and computer related gadgets.Or throw a celebratory party. Maybe receive red packets from parents. Ah well. My parents aren’t coming for my graduation, by the way. So there’s no red packet to receive, but plenty of my money to be taken away. There’s chinese taxes, rent, utility bills, grocery bills, parents’ allowance. MissY and I have started looking around for suitable apartments to live in come July, but they have either been too expensive, or just too…sad to live in.

Suddenly I feel the weight of what everyone terms as adulthood. Very bitter taste indeed.

Not a good day at work today. 

Disclosed things I wasn’t supposed to, which put the boss in an awkward position, which of course didn’t forbade well for my prepared negotiation speech.

Oh well. Will sleep over it.

Just wanted to share how MissY cooled us down from a stressful day at work with her sliced cucumbers. Probably not an uncommon method but I’d like to think of it as her knack for exhibiting her Koreanness at the right time.

I’ve been offered a full-time position with the company I’ve been working for in the past 2 months. It’s been on my mind the entire weekend, including my sleeping hours. 

Spent 2 hours on the phone on a long distance call with my mom, who went on in circles about my work, the salary, house rental, negotiation, and so on (with my dad in the background adding his 2 cents worth too). I asked her for advice on whether I should negotiate my salary, and she went on and on about money and the sums for rental, food, and other necessities. It’s no surprise where I got my calculative genes from.

I think she was pleased that I asked her for advice on this, as we haven’t moved our conversation beyond how cold or hot it is in Shanghai, and what food I ate for lunch/dinner (depending on the time of the day she called). Despite my obliging tone, I’m glad I spoke to her (and dad) about this whole issue, as they never fail to force harsh reality down my throat and bring me down from my complacence and arrogance. My brother, too, in a separate conversation, has surprisingly brought my attention to the importance of work ethics and good manners. 

I’ll be negotiating my remuneration package, despite the number of naysayers, because I know I will never let up if I don’t try now. I’m confident of what I can offer to the company, and I’ve prepared a mini speech for a talk with the boss tomorrow, so just hope for the best. I’ll consider again if he doesn’t change his offer. 

I’m looking forward to being a half-pat in Shanghai! A half-pat is a locally-hired foreigner, kinda like in between a local and an expat. You know, I’m usually a misfit in categories but this may be one where I fit perfectly! 

Read more about half-pats in China, and the salary expectation of expats.

More to come with that. But for now, here’s a really cool CV done by a Chinese graduate, aspiring to work in video production: